I don't think I'll be able to get back in the swing of things as quickly as I imagined, though I am coming out of a deep depression finally. It's going slowly, though, and there are still a lot of things in my life I have to figure out before I can spend time concocting ideas for self portraits. I'll instead just have to wait til inspiration strikes me again like it used to at 3 am all the time.

I kind of think school wore me out, creatively at least. In ways, I finally learned the technical aspects of what I'd been doing all along, but it made me self conscious. So have any current available photography jobs I've tried for, so all that combined, I found new inspiration in shooting those who are inspired by love, and Steve and I are doing our couples photography stuff slowly.

After losing our jobs, we were stripped down to next to nothing but eachother and I can't quite speak for him but I know that having that relationship really held me together, especially since photography at the time had stopped being the thing to hold me up.

I really miss the days when I could just pick up my camera and shoot incredible things that everyone loved and adored and have people I didn't know about know my name at these little shindigs in the area. I occasionally have those moments but the fact is, people wouldn't recognise me anyway. My hair is different, a lack of make up, gained weight and a general listless look. I kinda miss the things I'd make myself appear to be in those photos. Even the grotesque images still made me look my most beautiful. It has indeed been a long time since I gave a damn. Again, I am starting too, but I'm definitely having to start from the ground up.


Tomorrow I will dye my hair a bright brownish red, I will maybe attempt, and I only say attempt, the treadmill or something, and eat an apple or five. I'm gonna set my Cybershot on my desk for me to look at, with batteries fully charged and an empty memory card, so that when my personal inspiration comes back, I'll have everything ready. I've lost many an idea because of dead batteries.

You might not see any more images here for awhile, but I'll probably update this journal a little more. I never was one for blogging about my own self but I guess that's the hip and with it thing to do these days so I'll join in. I even got a Twitter. A fucking twitter. I do not know exactly why I got one, I believe it was something one of my former classmates told me was a "good marketing strategy" (I should ask Mr. L W if he agrees with that). Who knows.

Twitter - divineemilyfine (yes, it MUST be for marketing purposes. You know, the ones where I market "@God I just ate a cheesestick"

The sort of slow going blog for the couples stuff - [link]


That should make it easier to contact me. The more the merrier there. I tend to check those things a lot quicker than this site anyway.